What's Next?

It was around the time of my birthday and that always gets me thinking about my life. What am I thankful for? What ebenezers do I need to make to remind me of what God’s done in my life over the past year? What dreams do I have for the coming year? I’ve been praying for a while that God would give me big dreams. Over the last few years I’ve found that I have been pretty reserved in the dreams I allow myself to have. I’ve seen dreams shatter and it hurts. A lot. And I didn’t want to be disappointed again. But to hell with that, I say! God isn’t calling me to settle for a hum-drum life…and I think letting the Father paint a big dream for me is where it begins. So I started praying for an adventure.

It all started with a TED talk and this question: “What scares you the most? Do that.” That’s easy: Quit my job and travel for a year. That scares the crap out of me. I’m more the planned out/responsible type than the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kinds of girl. I’ve always been pretty frugal and responsible with my money, probably because of the financial environment I grew up in. I learned at a young age that I needed to be able to take care of myself. So I have. But because of that, I’m a bit of a scared-y cat when it comes to taking financial risks. And do I really want to quit my job? In this economy? And not have anything to come back to? Really? Is that wise? I’m beginning to think it is. And here’s why: it will make me trust God with my money. Which, right now…I don’t. I depend on me. That’s gotta stop.

When I look back on my life, do I really want to say that I spent my 20’s in corporate America? Sure, my job served a great purpose for a time. It helped me pay for college and I’ve been learning a lot in my current role…but is it what I’m passionate about? Probably not. I’m passionate about helping people grow and develop. I’m passionate about Jesus and the healing that the Holy Spirit can bring. If I do end up taking a break to travel I want it to have some umph behind it. I’m all for sight-seeing and touristy stuff, but I think I would get lonely and feel a bit unsatisfied if I just travelled to travel. Instead, maybe I want to go to a L’Abri for a while or serve with a non-profit while I’m overseas. I want to see what God’s up to and join in on the fun.

I’ve also been thinking about going back to school to become a counselor. I think that plays to some of my strengths and I really believe in walking alongside people as they work through hard stuff. So, I’ve been looking at schools. Some in Portland, some not. I thought about travelling for a while, visiting friends overseas, maybe volunteering for a few months and then returning to the states and heading back to school. A friend of mine also mentioned the possibility of pursuing my PhD. I could study abroad and get a degree in social psychology. Wow, there are so many options, how does one begin to choose?

So, here we go. Let’s see what adventure this next year brings. Have you had any GIANT leaps of faith that you’ve taken in your life? How’d they turn out? Any words of wisdom?

Nowhere Place

A couple of weeks ago Rick talked about being in a “nowhere place”. We keep holding out for something before we fully allow God to be our God… and that leaves us in this nowhere place. We’ve left home, we aren’t yet where we belong, but we sure as hell aren’t where we thought we’d be by now. I think we’ve all got a nowhere place. For me, it’s singleness. What is wrong with me that I’m still single? My friends keep getting married off. This can’t be some secret club only for the elite. Wait, what’s the secret handshake? Or, if they’re not married, they’re at least in a relationship that is lasting more than one or two dates. Come on, God. I thought we had a deal. I keep hearing that you want good things for me, that you’re all powerful. So why aren’t you coming through on this one? Well, then there must be something unlovable about me if an all-powerful God can’t even find me a mate.

Yeah, those are the places I go. The tapes that play in my head that could get the best of me if I let them (and I could have gone on and on with that list, but I’ll spare you the lies). Rick also talked about God having mercy on those who he has mercy on. That God gets to choose how and when to bless us. God gets to be in control, not me. Crap. I hate that sometimes. There he goes again, not fitting into my small lowercase-g-god-box. He’s too big for my little box, and his bigness simultaneously thrills me and scares the shit out of me. It’s safer for me if God acts the way I expect him to, if he gives me what I want. But that’s what I love about our God, he’s unpredictable and dangerous. He loves fiercely and jealously. He’ll passionately pursue us until he has our whole hearts. He’s not scared of getting his hands dirty and is more interested in being in relationship with us than making sure we have every box on our list checked off. He loves us as we are. Right now. And at the same time is transforming me into the image of Christ. God wants to meet me in my nowhere place and redeem it. This week I’m going to pay attention and look for ways that he’s already entered into that place and is starting to redeem it.


Anyway, this is what has been rolling around in my head after listening to that sermon. I wonder what your nowhere places are. How has God encountered you there?

Europa

There are so many stories to tell from my recent trip to Europe. Let's call this part one.
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I don’t know about you, but for me the picture I had in my head of my first trip to Europe was something out of the movies. Surreal. It turned out to be a little different than that. A very dear friend of mine got married in Germany, and a few of us went to celebrate with her. And since we were there anyway, we tacked on a couple extra days to travel around a bit.

We flew from Portland to Frankfurt. Our layover (which was literally all of 15 minutes) was in Houston. Luckily our plane was only a couple of gates away or we wouldn’t have made it. The 10 hour flight went better than I expected. My roommate loaned me her travel pillow and with that and earplugs I was able to sleep a lot more than I thought I would.

We arrived in Frankfurt around noon. The airport is HUGE and after going through customs and getting some money, we finally made it to baggage claim only to be greeted by a deserted carousel with one lonely bag. We finally found someone and they let us know that our bags didn’t make it. They blamed security but I think what really happened was that our bags didn’t make the super-tight connection in Houston. So we would be bagless tonight. Luckily I was travelling with friends and was able to borrow most of what I needed until my bag arrived.

Frankfurt as a city was nice. Easy to explore and everyone was very friendly. We had just a couple days there and were blessed with mostly dry weather.


From there we took the train to Altdof, Germany (where the wedding would be). Konstanze’s (the bride) father met us at the train station and took us to their home. We were met by a full house of international travelers. Leandro’s (the groom) family is Spanish and his brother came from England. At this point it was the time in the afternoon when Germans like to have cake. It’s a sort of tea time, but even better than what the British have going because tea plays second fiddle in Germany to the amazing dessert spread they present every afternoon (or maybe we were just being spoiled by our amazing hosts). I knew this was the beginning of something beautiful. After cake, we were taken to the apartment we would be staying in. We settled in and returned to their home for dinner with folks from all over Europe who came in for the wedding. We met a lot of great people that night and enjoyed getting to know them over the coming weekend.

The next day was the wedding day. We spent the morning at Konstanze’s parent’s house hanging out with all the family and friends from out of town. Seriously, a lot of really great people. The wedding was that afternoon at the local church. It was a stunning building and a beautiful ceremony (in three languages - German, Spanish and English). After the ceremony we headed to the reception. Shortly after we arrived we had a champagne toast where Konstanze and Leandro gave thanks for all the important people in their lives who were able to share this day with them. At first I thought they would just introduce their family and a couple others, but they ended up introducing everyone by name and sharing with the group why they are important to them. This made me realize how beautiful a small wedding can be where you know you are surrounded by those closest to you. Next, it was cake time. We walked into a room with a buffet table filled with all different kinds of cakes. Then the reception continued into the wee hours of the morning. German wedding receptions are a little bit different that what I’m used to in that there is a program of events. There were a lot of events throughout the night, from a slideshow explaining the story of Konstanze and Leandro to a song that high school friends prepared for the couple. It was so incredibly meaningful because everything was prepared with love especially for them. It was a great night of celebration that lasted well into the morning. A beautiful way to start the beginning of the rest of their lives. I felt blessed and honor to be there and celebrate with them.

to my friend in preparation of her wedding

Dear friend,

As I write this letter I am looking at a picture from our ladies prayer dinner at your house. You are such a beautiful woman of God and I am so glad to know you. I am so thankful for our time together while you were in Portland. I remember our walks along the waterfront, sharing our hopes and dreams for life. You shared your heart for L as your relationship was unfolding. You were consistent in seeking the Lord's wisdom. I remember your gentle spirit as you walked with me through a difficult time in my life. How you prayed over me and encouaged me.

You are family to me.  I am thankful to have you as a sister in Christ. I am thrilled to come and celebrate your wedding with you!! While I am looking forward to my first trip to Europe, that all pales in comparison to how delighted I am to be a part of your wedding day. Honestly. I pray blessings and peace over you as you prepare for your wedding. That God would be close to both you and L as you come closer to being united in Christ. My eyes are tearing up as I write this.  Looking back over your journey it is a true testament to God’s great love for you. Of His protection and provision. What a happy ending to this story!

I love you, dear sister, and can’t wait to celebrate with you!
-Stefanie

thank you

Thank you.

I know it has been a long time since I gave an update on my sister, and for that I’m sorry. It has been a crazy few months. Shortly after I wrote last time I got a call that Sheila was back in the hospital and going in for emergency surgery the next morning. I quickly bought a ticket for the next morning.

When I arrived on Tuesday, Sheila was still in surgery. A few hours later she was out of surgery and in her recovery room. The surgeon said the surgery went well and they were able to remove all of the cancer. The rest of her abdomen looked great and didn’t give her any cause for concern. The surgeon removed several enlarged lymph nodes and sent those off to pathology. We would just wait to hear back on the results of those.

Sheila was in a lot of pain initially and I had the opportunity to serve by staying with her in the hospital that night. Quite the experience, as I’m sure those of you who have had to stay in the hospital with loved ones before know. There were tubes everywhere and the nurses came in every hour or so to check on her.

And then the surgeon came back with the pathology result. Of the 24 nodes she removed, zero came back positive. ZERO!!! This is great news and a very obvious answer to prayer as it was highly unlikely that they would all come back negative. Seriously, praise God.

Sheila then met with an oncologist and they decided that since the surgery was such a success and the lymph nodes all came back negative that she wouldn’t need chemo or radiation. SAY WHAT?! Again, another answer to prayer. This was seriously the best case scenario for this awful situation. I don’t think it could have gone any better. We just kept getting good news. My heart is so thankful for how God protected my family during this season.

Also, while I was in California I gave Sheila the book of prayers and financial gift that my friends all contributed to. It was an honor for me to put this together. To show her how much she is loved by people she doesn’t even know. She loved it, so thanks everyone for contributing and praying. Thank you again for all the ways you supported me and my family.

Sheila has impressed me all along the way. She was amazing during the whole process. I think I would have been a crying mess a lot more than she was. What a remarkably strong woman my sister is. I feel blessed to have been able to be there with her during this time. It grew our relationship as sisters and as friends.

the fight of a lifetime

it feels like its time for me to say something about my family. my sister in particular. 

a little over a week ago, Sheila was diagnosed with cancer. can.cer. can...cer. i've repeated that word slowly, i've yelled that word at friends.  i dont know what to do with that damn word. what i do know is that there is still fight left in her, which means there is still fight left in me. and for that i am thankful.

i guess the point of this blog is to say thanks.  in the midst of all that is going on (my parents also recently announced their divorce) i've been surrounded by prayer. and i cant tell you how vital that has been to me.  dealing with all this has brought up so many emotions and memories of the past that i've found myself overwhelmed. there has been a lot to process, and i've still got a ways to go.  during this past week, there have been moments where i found myself unable to approach God.  in those moments the holy spirit reminded me that there were others who could approach the throne for me.  there are friends out there praying on our behalf, asking for healing for sheila, praying for peace, begging for wisdom. knowing this has let me put one foot in front of the other.

God has been present in this pain and has given me a new language for my prayer. last weekend a friend and i took a trip to mirror lake. i found that the rhythm of the hike gave a sort of cadence to my prayers. my petitions flowed seamlessly. it was exactly what i needed and rejuvenated the fight in me. which i needed because this is going to be one hell of a fight.

3119

Welcome to Marcia Manor. Thanks, it’s good to be here. Seriously, it’s good to be here. I moved into my new apartment a few weeks ago. I’m one of those people that need change. When I start feeling like things are getting stagnant I go looking for ways to mix things up. I don’t know what that’s about, but that’s how it is.



I’m usually pretty excited to move. But not this time. Oh no. I was NOT looking forward to moving. Not that I wanted to stay in my old apartment. That place was a crappy tiny apartment, so that didn’t have anything to do with it. I think a big part of it was that I couldn’t get the vision of what this new space would be like. Would I be going from one crappy apartment to another crappy apartment? Maybe, this new apartment isn’t anything to write home about – but I convinced myself to do it because I would be living closer to friends and I’d be able to save a bunch of money on rent which would let me travel more. So I signed the papers and got to packing. I’m usually a rock star at packing; it’s where my administrative/organization OCD really shines. But this time was different; I procrastinated and found excuses not to pack.


And then moving day came. And that’s when I realized everything was going to be okay. A ton of my friends swooped in early in the morning and moved all the boxes out of my tiny crappy apartment in an hour. ONE HOUR. What?! Yeah, and it gets better. Then, at the new apartment they all pitched in and started unpacking boxes. Some even asked if they could go back to the old apartment and help me clean it out. To which I said “Come again? Are you serious? YES PLEASE!!” A few of us went back to the old place and cleaned that sucker out in half an hour. We started at 9am, by 11:30 we had all the boxes moved, my old apartment cleaned out and most of my bedroom and living room already set up. By the end of the day ALL of my boxes were unpacked and my cute little apartment now has Stefanie written on its walls. And damn, my apartment is cute.


I am so in love with my new space. I feel at peace here, it feels like home. I was talking to a friend about how different my demeanor is in my new apartment, how my spirit just feels a little lighter here. She told me that maybe this was me moving out of the place of healing that I’ve been in since Aaron and I broke up. Maybe this was God moving me out of that season into a new one. And boy am I thankful for this new season.


When we were praying over the apartment on moving day I was sitting there thinking about how blessed I am. How much God must love me to give me these amazing friends who made this move so easy, a move that I was NOT looking forward to. And so, this is my home that I’m dedicating to the Lord – asking him to meet me here in big and small moments. Asking Him to bring friends here to share a meal with, friends to laugh with, cry with, and live life with.

Kings

During my morning reading yesterday, this verse jumped out and hit me across the face.  Well, maybe not exactly, but I’ve been thinking about it ever since.  Sometimes God is in the whisper when we really want him to be as big, obvious, and powerful as a hurricane or earthquake.  My heart has been heavy lately as some of my close friends are going through some really hard things. Today, I’m praying that the gentle and quiet whisper be close.  That His still small voice be a comforting embrace that brings peace and rest.  

1 Kings 11-12:

Then he was told, "Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by." 

A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn't to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn't in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn't in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.

The Windy City

Dont have much time but wanted to do a quick post about the GREAT trip i had to Chicago.  If it was this beautiful in the middle of winter, then I can only imagine how amazing it would be when the sun is shining!  So many times we looked up and couldn't see the top of buildings because they were hidden in clouds.  That's what I call a skyscraper.  Here are some of my favorite things.

Art institute museum, got to see Seurat’s A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte up close.

Michigan Ave was spectacular!!

Went to see the Broadway production of Dreamgirls – it did not disappoint.  

They had a HUGE Lego Land on Magnificent Mile, I made friends with an old lady :)

Picasso’s sculpture downtown.  

Pritzker Pavilion in Millennium Park – I want to go back and see a concert there.

Cloudgate (aka THE BEAN!!) – loved it!

Next on my list of places I must see: Boston!!  The fall is going to be here sooner than we think.  Can I interest anyone in a trip to New England??

wind chill

chicago is not too far away.  its getting closer and closer, actually. 

the temperature in chicago was three degrees yesterday.  three.  degrees.  what can i say, rediculously cheap plane tickets to a city thats been on my list for a long time will make me do silly things.  i could hardly stand the amount of wind we had in Portland tonight.  i realize that i may very well freeze to death, but oh what a way to go.  i've been praying for adventure lately, and i suspect thats just what i'm getting myself into here.

i got our tickets in the mail today for the broadway show we're going to.  is it still a broadway show when its not actually on broadway?  dont know, dont care.  five days of adventure and exploration.  architecture and art museums.


15 days and i'll be in the windy city.  a great way to start a new decade. 

epiphany

today was one of the best days i've ever had. and not for any other reason than God made clear to me how he is working in my life. A little epiphany, and so timely with the church calendar. i've been praying and talking with friends about how we should find our identity in God. I feel like God has been stirring that desire in me. But how do we really do that so it’s more than just words. Above all else, i want to know that i am a daughter of Christ. really KNOW in my heart of hearts. i want that to be the place i operate out of. but what does that look like? how does that play out in my day-to-day life? i dont really have an exact answer for that, but today proved to me that God is teaching me that lesson.

First, i got one of the most amazing compliments from a co-worker. She was having a rough morning and told me that she just wanted to come to work and grab some time with me because she knew that i "wanted to hear her heart." oh wow, what a high compliment. it means a lot to me that she knows that i'm in it with her. that i love her and i really do want to know her. to know her heart. but more than that, i want her to know why i care so much about her. that i'm only able to care about her this way because God cares about me at a much higher level. Because God cares about her in a big way. it just felt like God's whisper saying "good job little stef."

Then, when i got home from work there was a note waiting for me in my mailbox. it was from a godly woman that i really admire. the note was a beautiful affirmation of who i am as a daughter in Christ. That she sees God at work in my life and is proud of who i have become. This was such a blessing because i know she would not say this lightly and feel humbled and greatful that she thinks so highly of me. Again, another affirmation from the Lord that he’s already up to something.

in between all that, i had my performance review at work today and it was a great conversation with my boss. it made me excited that i get to do what i do. i'm looking forward to this next year.

all of this is an answer to prayer. God is not still when you ask him to come closer. i've been praying that i would find my identity in him, and he has used today to show me that i'm already living in that space more than i think i am. I am so blessed by the people in my life, and so thankful that God used today to encourage and strengthen my faith. it felt like a moment of celebration. a moment to get caught up in the dance.

what's next?

 i havent written anything here in a long time because life has been busy. december is known to be a busy month, but this fall as a whole has been quite interesting.

First, my dear friends told me that they were moving to Salt Lake City to plant a church. Kevin and Karen are more than just friends, they're family. they are where i spend Christmas each year. last year, during the snow storm - i got a call from Kevin saying to get my stuff ready because he was on his way to pick me up. I wouldn’t have to spend the storm alone. i spent a week at their house talking, eating, laughing, baking, playing in the snow and eating some more. That was exactly what i needed this time last year. These are the people that i would call if i ended up in hospital. They are a big part of why I’m in Portland in the first place. They are the home i run to when my life is falling apart. i've spent many late nights talking with Karen about how to navigate through life's twists and turns. They are more than friends, they are my family. So when they told me they were moving I knew a piece of me would be going with them to Salt Lake City.

Karen invited me to go with them to SLC. And it got my wheels turning. i was honored to be invited and a new adventure got me excited. But, as I thought more about it I realized that I would need to be called to Salt Lake. i mean think about it. Me? in Salt Lake? Really? Yeah, right. I’m no snow bunny. If they were starting a church in Chicago or Boston or my beloved New York, I would be there in a flash. But Salt Lake? What in the world would I be able to contribute there? But I’ve been praying about it, if there’s a place for me there that God wants me to fill – I’m open to it. and would be excited for the new adventure. But I’ll have to hear it from God.

Ever since I got the news of Kevin & Karen moving, I’ve held Portland very lightly. Wondering where God would take me next (NYC, please!).

Then, I went to visit my family in California earlier this month. While I was there I got to spend some time with one of my teachers from high school. Erin and I used to go to Santa Cruz together almost every weekend. I was so blessed to have her as a mentor during those years. And our relationship has blossomed into a deep friendship. It was wonderful to spend a day catching up with her. Taking her dog Truckee for a walk. Trying out new wines at their usual wine bar. Drinking tea and talking about life. Hearing her heart and laying mine out for her. While I was there, I realized that I could see myself living in the Bay Area again. WHAT?! Where the heck did that come from? That shocked me big time because I ran as fast as I could away from that place after high school. What in the world was I thinking? But maybe it wasn’t me that was thinking. God, are you up to something here? So I mentioned this to Erin and her husband and they responded with excitement and started dreaming of how I could connect to their community. How I could serve in their church and help establish a women’s ministry. How they would love to have me as part of their core team when they plant their own church. Hmm, God where are you going with this?

Something I know about myself is that God teaches me in themes. When I see something come up in a few places my ears perk up. So, I’m not sure that this means that I will be leaving Portland any time soon. I’ve got A LOT of great things going for me here. A good job, a GREAT community of friends, a beautiful church. But maybe this means God is calling me out of this season of healing that I’ve been in, and into a season of service. I pray that God would be revealing where he would have me serve, where he is calling me. I’m holding all this lightly, ready for a new adventure.

novak and heepa

i don't remember why, but somewhere along the road my brother got nicknamed "heepa." Maybe it was because he started calling me "seepa" first, but now those are our nicknames for each other. His real name is Kevin, but heepa has a better ring to it.

i've been watching the US Open this past week and novak djokovic is my favorite tennis player. the main reason for that is because he reminds me of my brother. I've been told that i think everyone looks like my brother (i'm sure Freud would have some theories on that) but come on! I'm not making this up - novak totally looks like my brother. can you see it?! Novak on the left, Kevin on the right.




Novak is doing pretty good so far in New York. Sadly, i haven't been able to catch one of his matches yet. Last night was nadal, and tonight they're showing federer (surprise, surprise). Hopefully novak will get far enough that he'll meet one of these two and get some prime time action. My tennis loyalties lie first with novak, then nadal...federer - not so much. Go Novak, Go! Looks like this could shape up to be a pretty interesting competition.

1812 Overture

every summer the oregon symphony does their final outdoor performance at south waterfront. There are a lot of great things about Portland summers, and this is one of my favorite. a group of us went last thursday to partake of this cultural gem. they do the 1812 overture right - cannons and all. not only that, but the bring in some folks from the ballet and they always finish it off with some AMAZING fireworks. fireworks that arent on the 4th of july seem more special. a great night of music and friends.

lacking wisdom?

i got my wisdom teeth pulled a week ago. yikes, this has been an experience. things went pretty smoothly the day of the procedure (as smoothly as something like that could go). The next day was worse than the first. the day of nausea, followed by excruciating pain and exhaustion. but now, things seem to be coming back under control. still really tired, but on the mend for sure. cant wait to get back to normal.

but last night was fantastic. in the middle of my exhaustion and pain, i found myself in the middle of thanksgiving. it was truly a time of worship. a time to look back over what God has done in my life. How he's been present with me every step of this hard journey i'm on. it made me feel really blessed. it started when i was talking to my mom about God's protection in getting me to the dentist sooner than i had planned before anything turned into an infection. something that seems small, but right now is a really big thing. and that has been a theme. God really has blessed me, both large and small. And i am so thankful. it was a time to realize that he's brought healing in a few places that i've been praying for healing. praise be to God.

and p.s. i just got an email from my boss telling me to take it easy for another day and not come in to work tomorrow. rest up. definitely another blessing from my papa.

flight

Bret: i'm developing a vaccine for epileptic dogs
Girl: are you a vet, or a doctor or something?
Bret: no, but i am very intelligent (readjusts glasses)
Girl: i'm not sure you should do that, it could be dangerous.
Bret: no, its not dangerous, i've been taking it for a while now and i havent had any epileptic symtoms
Girl: but you werent epileptic before taking the vaccine.
Bret: well, no - but i think its because of the vaccine.

hee hee hee. it's probably funnier with a new zealand accent.

Portland in the Summer

One of the many things i love about Portland is all the free stuff that goes on in the summer. On friday night Sara and i went to see the ballet at washington park. Semi-frozen but mostly happy (luckily, no rain). The first half was just the Oregon Ballet Theater. They performed one of my favorite pieces from last season and a brand new ballet, which was brilliant. After intermission came Portland Cello Project. i had heard recently read an article about them, and was quite impressed (although the sound at the amphitheater didnt do them justice). they had a couple of guests on stage with them. the last two of which emcee at a local karaoke bar in sellwood. We had a bit of a cello dance party on the lawn when they performed "take on me," which was both weird and wonderful. They also covered a never released elliott smith song. i heart portland.

next: the summer finale. the symphony at south waterfront. ahh. mark your calendars friends, its gonna be a good one.

Dennis the Menace

Cant forget the legendary Dennis the Menace park in Monterey. As you can see, i'm winning! this was one of the most bumpy slides of my life...those twists and turns might look an adventure - but looks can be deceiving.

Bay Side (and i dont mean the high school in Saved by the Bell)

spending the weekend in Monterey was de-lightful. portland had been having a ridiculous heat wave, and my little apartment was overheating. being on the top floor with plenty of west facing windows didnt help anything. i, like many portlanders, do not have air conditioning. but unlike most portlanders, i also dont have a proper fan. what i do have is one of those t-i-n-y desk fans. so i took that little guy with me where ever i went. i couldnt move more than a few inches because i wasnt about to risk having to experience the true heat without my artificial breeze. it is a weird reality when the Bay Area is more temperate than Portland.

Monterey would have been lovely on its own, but it was doubly fantastic because it got me out of the heat. And you cant go to Monterey without going to the aquarium. i think it is one of the only things i've experienced that didnt feel smaller after revisiting as an adult. but then again, the place does have several life-sized whale replicas hanging from the ceiling, and i think that alone would keep anyone from questioning its magnitude. Kevin was a great tour guide - he knew all about the exhibits and would answer all my questions, i didnt have to bother reading those pesky placards next to each tank. who has that kind of time, anyway? we stayed in a really nice hotel and while we were there my mom and i relaxed and got pedicures, i'm still showing off my freshly manicured toenails. (i might have to consider making pedicures a regular routine:) marvelous.

what was weird to me was being on the beach where the sun didnt set over the water. because we were right on the Monterey Bay, the beach was often to the north and the sun would set away from the water. it kinda freaked me out. thats what happens when you spend most of your life only experiencing the pacific ocean. you dont know how to respond when your near water but the sun sets over the land. it felt wrong.

The Aquarium and the Marine Biologist

My brother and I have always had a good relationship. We've been friends since I can remember. Sure, we fought. Sure, he pushed me into the flower pot in grandma's backyard. Sure, we did all the usual stuff that siblings do. But Kevin holds a very special place in my heart, and there's nothing he can do to change that.

I'm going down to California tonight to spend the weekend in Monterey with my mom and brother. My family has a lot of memories in Monterey. Growing up, we lived about an hour away - so we were fortunate enough to get yearly memberships to the aquarium. The Monterey Bay Aquarium is one of the most amazing places! Rich with color and texture, this is where Kevin taught me about marine life. Where I followed him around when we were little asking questions about how fish breathe and where they sleep (some wrap themselves in kelp to stay put). I have so many special memories of climbing rocks along the ocean, poking starfish and sea anemone in the tide pools, and strolling along cannery row. We haven’t been back in years, and because we've always lived near by we've never actually stayed in the night in Monterey. So I'm glad to go back this weekend. Looking forward to the break from this crazy Portland heat wave, and some more Marine Biology 101 with Professor Shiraz, and maybe a quick stop at Dennis the Menace Park if we're lucky.