Europa

There are so many stories to tell from my recent trip to Europe. Let's call this part one.
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I don’t know about you, but for me the picture I had in my head of my first trip to Europe was something out of the movies. Surreal. It turned out to be a little different than that. A very dear friend of mine got married in Germany, and a few of us went to celebrate with her. And since we were there anyway, we tacked on a couple extra days to travel around a bit.

We flew from Portland to Frankfurt. Our layover (which was literally all of 15 minutes) was in Houston. Luckily our plane was only a couple of gates away or we wouldn’t have made it. The 10 hour flight went better than I expected. My roommate loaned me her travel pillow and with that and earplugs I was able to sleep a lot more than I thought I would.

We arrived in Frankfurt around noon. The airport is HUGE and after going through customs and getting some money, we finally made it to baggage claim only to be greeted by a deserted carousel with one lonely bag. We finally found someone and they let us know that our bags didn’t make it. They blamed security but I think what really happened was that our bags didn’t make the super-tight connection in Houston. So we would be bagless tonight. Luckily I was travelling with friends and was able to borrow most of what I needed until my bag arrived.

Frankfurt as a city was nice. Easy to explore and everyone was very friendly. We had just a couple days there and were blessed with mostly dry weather.


From there we took the train to Altdof, Germany (where the wedding would be). Konstanze’s (the bride) father met us at the train station and took us to their home. We were met by a full house of international travelers. Leandro’s (the groom) family is Spanish and his brother came from England. At this point it was the time in the afternoon when Germans like to have cake. It’s a sort of tea time, but even better than what the British have going because tea plays second fiddle in Germany to the amazing dessert spread they present every afternoon (or maybe we were just being spoiled by our amazing hosts). I knew this was the beginning of something beautiful. After cake, we were taken to the apartment we would be staying in. We settled in and returned to their home for dinner with folks from all over Europe who came in for the wedding. We met a lot of great people that night and enjoyed getting to know them over the coming weekend.

The next day was the wedding day. We spent the morning at Konstanze’s parent’s house hanging out with all the family and friends from out of town. Seriously, a lot of really great people. The wedding was that afternoon at the local church. It was a stunning building and a beautiful ceremony (in three languages - German, Spanish and English). After the ceremony we headed to the reception. Shortly after we arrived we had a champagne toast where Konstanze and Leandro gave thanks for all the important people in their lives who were able to share this day with them. At first I thought they would just introduce their family and a couple others, but they ended up introducing everyone by name and sharing with the group why they are important to them. This made me realize how beautiful a small wedding can be where you know you are surrounded by those closest to you. Next, it was cake time. We walked into a room with a buffet table filled with all different kinds of cakes. Then the reception continued into the wee hours of the morning. German wedding receptions are a little bit different that what I’m used to in that there is a program of events. There were a lot of events throughout the night, from a slideshow explaining the story of Konstanze and Leandro to a song that high school friends prepared for the couple. It was so incredibly meaningful because everything was prepared with love especially for them. It was a great night of celebration that lasted well into the morning. A beautiful way to start the beginning of the rest of their lives. I felt blessed and honor to be there and celebrate with them.

to my friend in preparation of her wedding

Dear friend,

As I write this letter I am looking at a picture from our ladies prayer dinner at your house. You are such a beautiful woman of God and I am so glad to know you. I am so thankful for our time together while you were in Portland. I remember our walks along the waterfront, sharing our hopes and dreams for life. You shared your heart for L as your relationship was unfolding. You were consistent in seeking the Lord's wisdom. I remember your gentle spirit as you walked with me through a difficult time in my life. How you prayed over me and encouaged me.

You are family to me.  I am thankful to have you as a sister in Christ. I am thrilled to come and celebrate your wedding with you!! While I am looking forward to my first trip to Europe, that all pales in comparison to how delighted I am to be a part of your wedding day. Honestly. I pray blessings and peace over you as you prepare for your wedding. That God would be close to both you and L as you come closer to being united in Christ. My eyes are tearing up as I write this.  Looking back over your journey it is a true testament to God’s great love for you. Of His protection and provision. What a happy ending to this story!

I love you, dear sister, and can’t wait to celebrate with you!
-Stefanie

thank you

Thank you.

I know it has been a long time since I gave an update on my sister, and for that I’m sorry. It has been a crazy few months. Shortly after I wrote last time I got a call that Sheila was back in the hospital and going in for emergency surgery the next morning. I quickly bought a ticket for the next morning.

When I arrived on Tuesday, Sheila was still in surgery. A few hours later she was out of surgery and in her recovery room. The surgeon said the surgery went well and they were able to remove all of the cancer. The rest of her abdomen looked great and didn’t give her any cause for concern. The surgeon removed several enlarged lymph nodes and sent those off to pathology. We would just wait to hear back on the results of those.

Sheila was in a lot of pain initially and I had the opportunity to serve by staying with her in the hospital that night. Quite the experience, as I’m sure those of you who have had to stay in the hospital with loved ones before know. There were tubes everywhere and the nurses came in every hour or so to check on her.

And then the surgeon came back with the pathology result. Of the 24 nodes she removed, zero came back positive. ZERO!!! This is great news and a very obvious answer to prayer as it was highly unlikely that they would all come back negative. Seriously, praise God.

Sheila then met with an oncologist and they decided that since the surgery was such a success and the lymph nodes all came back negative that she wouldn’t need chemo or radiation. SAY WHAT?! Again, another answer to prayer. This was seriously the best case scenario for this awful situation. I don’t think it could have gone any better. We just kept getting good news. My heart is so thankful for how God protected my family during this season.

Also, while I was in California I gave Sheila the book of prayers and financial gift that my friends all contributed to. It was an honor for me to put this together. To show her how much she is loved by people she doesn’t even know. She loved it, so thanks everyone for contributing and praying. Thank you again for all the ways you supported me and my family.

Sheila has impressed me all along the way. She was amazing during the whole process. I think I would have been a crying mess a lot more than she was. What a remarkably strong woman my sister is. I feel blessed to have been able to be there with her during this time. It grew our relationship as sisters and as friends.

the fight of a lifetime

it feels like its time for me to say something about my family. my sister in particular. 

a little over a week ago, Sheila was diagnosed with cancer. can.cer. can...cer. i've repeated that word slowly, i've yelled that word at friends.  i dont know what to do with that damn word. what i do know is that there is still fight left in her, which means there is still fight left in me. and for that i am thankful.

i guess the point of this blog is to say thanks.  in the midst of all that is going on (my parents also recently announced their divorce) i've been surrounded by prayer. and i cant tell you how vital that has been to me.  dealing with all this has brought up so many emotions and memories of the past that i've found myself overwhelmed. there has been a lot to process, and i've still got a ways to go.  during this past week, there have been moments where i found myself unable to approach God.  in those moments the holy spirit reminded me that there were others who could approach the throne for me.  there are friends out there praying on our behalf, asking for healing for sheila, praying for peace, begging for wisdom. knowing this has let me put one foot in front of the other.

God has been present in this pain and has given me a new language for my prayer. last weekend a friend and i took a trip to mirror lake. i found that the rhythm of the hike gave a sort of cadence to my prayers. my petitions flowed seamlessly. it was exactly what i needed and rejuvenated the fight in me. which i needed because this is going to be one hell of a fight.

3119

Welcome to Marcia Manor. Thanks, it’s good to be here. Seriously, it’s good to be here. I moved into my new apartment a few weeks ago. I’m one of those people that need change. When I start feeling like things are getting stagnant I go looking for ways to mix things up. I don’t know what that’s about, but that’s how it is.



I’m usually pretty excited to move. But not this time. Oh no. I was NOT looking forward to moving. Not that I wanted to stay in my old apartment. That place was a crappy tiny apartment, so that didn’t have anything to do with it. I think a big part of it was that I couldn’t get the vision of what this new space would be like. Would I be going from one crappy apartment to another crappy apartment? Maybe, this new apartment isn’t anything to write home about – but I convinced myself to do it because I would be living closer to friends and I’d be able to save a bunch of money on rent which would let me travel more. So I signed the papers and got to packing. I’m usually a rock star at packing; it’s where my administrative/organization OCD really shines. But this time was different; I procrastinated and found excuses not to pack.


And then moving day came. And that’s when I realized everything was going to be okay. A ton of my friends swooped in early in the morning and moved all the boxes out of my tiny crappy apartment in an hour. ONE HOUR. What?! Yeah, and it gets better. Then, at the new apartment they all pitched in and started unpacking boxes. Some even asked if they could go back to the old apartment and help me clean it out. To which I said “Come again? Are you serious? YES PLEASE!!” A few of us went back to the old place and cleaned that sucker out in half an hour. We started at 9am, by 11:30 we had all the boxes moved, my old apartment cleaned out and most of my bedroom and living room already set up. By the end of the day ALL of my boxes were unpacked and my cute little apartment now has Stefanie written on its walls. And damn, my apartment is cute.


I am so in love with my new space. I feel at peace here, it feels like home. I was talking to a friend about how different my demeanor is in my new apartment, how my spirit just feels a little lighter here. She told me that maybe this was me moving out of the place of healing that I’ve been in since Aaron and I broke up. Maybe this was God moving me out of that season into a new one. And boy am I thankful for this new season.


When we were praying over the apartment on moving day I was sitting there thinking about how blessed I am. How much God must love me to give me these amazing friends who made this move so easy, a move that I was NOT looking forward to. And so, this is my home that I’m dedicating to the Lord – asking him to meet me here in big and small moments. Asking Him to bring friends here to share a meal with, friends to laugh with, cry with, and live life with.

Kings

During my morning reading yesterday, this verse jumped out and hit me across the face.  Well, maybe not exactly, but I’ve been thinking about it ever since.  Sometimes God is in the whisper when we really want him to be as big, obvious, and powerful as a hurricane or earthquake.  My heart has been heavy lately as some of my close friends are going through some really hard things. Today, I’m praying that the gentle and quiet whisper be close.  That His still small voice be a comforting embrace that brings peace and rest.  

1 Kings 11-12:

Then he was told, "Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by." 

A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn't to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn't in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn't in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.

The Windy City

Dont have much time but wanted to do a quick post about the GREAT trip i had to Chicago.  If it was this beautiful in the middle of winter, then I can only imagine how amazing it would be when the sun is shining!  So many times we looked up and couldn't see the top of buildings because they were hidden in clouds.  That's what I call a skyscraper.  Here are some of my favorite things.

Art institute museum, got to see Seurat’s A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte up close.

Michigan Ave was spectacular!!

Went to see the Broadway production of Dreamgirls – it did not disappoint.  

They had a HUGE Lego Land on Magnificent Mile, I made friends with an old lady :)

Picasso’s sculpture downtown.  

Pritzker Pavilion in Millennium Park – I want to go back and see a concert there.

Cloudgate (aka THE BEAN!!) – loved it!

Next on my list of places I must see: Boston!!  The fall is going to be here sooner than we think.  Can I interest anyone in a trip to New England??

wind chill

chicago is not too far away.  its getting closer and closer, actually. 

the temperature in chicago was three degrees yesterday.  three.  degrees.  what can i say, rediculously cheap plane tickets to a city thats been on my list for a long time will make me do silly things.  i could hardly stand the amount of wind we had in Portland tonight.  i realize that i may very well freeze to death, but oh what a way to go.  i've been praying for adventure lately, and i suspect thats just what i'm getting myself into here.

i got our tickets in the mail today for the broadway show we're going to.  is it still a broadway show when its not actually on broadway?  dont know, dont care.  five days of adventure and exploration.  architecture and art museums.


15 days and i'll be in the windy city.  a great way to start a new decade. 

epiphany

today was one of the best days i've ever had. and not for any other reason than God made clear to me how he is working in my life. A little epiphany, and so timely with the church calendar. i've been praying and talking with friends about how we should find our identity in God. I feel like God has been stirring that desire in me. But how do we really do that so it’s more than just words. Above all else, i want to know that i am a daughter of Christ. really KNOW in my heart of hearts. i want that to be the place i operate out of. but what does that look like? how does that play out in my day-to-day life? i dont really have an exact answer for that, but today proved to me that God is teaching me that lesson.

First, i got one of the most amazing compliments from a co-worker. She was having a rough morning and told me that she just wanted to come to work and grab some time with me because she knew that i "wanted to hear her heart." oh wow, what a high compliment. it means a lot to me that she knows that i'm in it with her. that i love her and i really do want to know her. to know her heart. but more than that, i want her to know why i care so much about her. that i'm only able to care about her this way because God cares about me at a much higher level. Because God cares about her in a big way. it just felt like God's whisper saying "good job little stef."

Then, when i got home from work there was a note waiting for me in my mailbox. it was from a godly woman that i really admire. the note was a beautiful affirmation of who i am as a daughter in Christ. That she sees God at work in my life and is proud of who i have become. This was such a blessing because i know she would not say this lightly and feel humbled and greatful that she thinks so highly of me. Again, another affirmation from the Lord that he’s already up to something.

in between all that, i had my performance review at work today and it was a great conversation with my boss. it made me excited that i get to do what i do. i'm looking forward to this next year.

all of this is an answer to prayer. God is not still when you ask him to come closer. i've been praying that i would find my identity in him, and he has used today to show me that i'm already living in that space more than i think i am. I am so blessed by the people in my life, and so thankful that God used today to encourage and strengthen my faith. it felt like a moment of celebration. a moment to get caught up in the dance.