the fight of a lifetime

it feels like its time for me to say something about my family. my sister in particular. 

a little over a week ago, Sheila was diagnosed with cancer. can.cer. can...cer. i've repeated that word slowly, i've yelled that word at friends.  i dont know what to do with that damn word. what i do know is that there is still fight left in her, which means there is still fight left in me. and for that i am thankful.

i guess the point of this blog is to say thanks.  in the midst of all that is going on (my parents also recently announced their divorce) i've been surrounded by prayer. and i cant tell you how vital that has been to me.  dealing with all this has brought up so many emotions and memories of the past that i've found myself overwhelmed. there has been a lot to process, and i've still got a ways to go.  during this past week, there have been moments where i found myself unable to approach God.  in those moments the holy spirit reminded me that there were others who could approach the throne for me.  there are friends out there praying on our behalf, asking for healing for sheila, praying for peace, begging for wisdom. knowing this has let me put one foot in front of the other.

God has been present in this pain and has given me a new language for my prayer. last weekend a friend and i took a trip to mirror lake. i found that the rhythm of the hike gave a sort of cadence to my prayers. my petitions flowed seamlessly. it was exactly what i needed and rejuvenated the fight in me. which i needed because this is going to be one hell of a fight.